Let’s Be Real People

Sometimes one of the saddest things in life is seeing people for who they really are instead of whom they want you to believe they are.

As an adult at the age of 42, I truly thought that I had a good perception of people and that I could identify a “fake” if I encountered one. I was wrong.

First let me give you my definition of “real”. I am who I am. I am honest about the good, the bad and the ugly that you probably would rather not even discuss. I don’t ever mean to offend anyone with my honesty but I find it is easier to be honest than it is to lie and deceive.

I struggled with lying when I was younger. I didn’t just tell lies, I deceived people about who I “really” was. I became whomever they thought I was when I was around them. My personality changed so often that I didn’t even know the “real” me. Although I didn’t realize it at the time, the root of my problem was my own fear of being rejected and alone. I thought in order to be accepted I had to imitate my friends. I would imitate their feelings as well as their actions. If they disliked something or someone, whether the feeling was mutual or not, I would agree with them and follow their lead.

I realized that if I didn’t learn to tell the truth not only with my words but with my actions I would never have a successful relationship. It wasn’t easy at first. I was a very timid person. I was insecure and easily influenced by others. Confrontation of any kind intimidated me. And the truth is if you are going to be honest, you will have confrontations.

 I remember “catching” myself and mentally battling with my habit. I believe that we all go through this to some degree as we mature from youth to adulthood. But apparently there are some people who never win this battle or they simply become complacent in their ways. They use excuses about having to be two different people because of their role in the work place or because they think they have to be politically correct around particular social groups. In my opinion, you can be politically correct and still stand in your own believes and convictions. To be a good co-worker, whether it be blue collar or white collar, you need to be honest. Truth is what sets leaders apart. Truth builds trust and trust builds teams. Teams build successes.

So, let’s be REAL people at all times, in all places.